Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
