but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
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I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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