Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
