so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
