The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
