i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
