That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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