mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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