We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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