When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
