yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
