I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
