Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
