He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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