There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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