similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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