drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
