the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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