I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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