Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So vagazzling was a success
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
