Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
