I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
