The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
