would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.