Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.

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(706): we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating. http://tfl.nu/lk5p

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(860): View more from Connecticut

we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.

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(860): we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed. http://tfl.nu/9td1

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word

(803): View more from South Carolina

dude its may

(843): View more from South Carolina

Work with me here, man.

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(843): Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word (803): dude its may (843): Work with me here, man. http://tfl.nu/2m3l

Replies (6) Good night (3959) Bad night (739)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.

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(910): Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut. http://tfl.nu/hcrb

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin

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(630): Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin http://tfl.nu/3pnd

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(256): View more from Alabama

He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.

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(256): He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front. http://tfl.nu/08qp

Replies (9) Good night (7401) Bad night (905)
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(+61): View more from Australia

woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME

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(+61): woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME http://tfl.nu/6fbk

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.

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(774): I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit. http://tfl.nu/t89l

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(573): View more from Missouri

Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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(573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.

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(570): Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least. http://tfl.nu/etpi

Replies (2) Good night (1723) Bad night (441)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?

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(262): Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer? http://tfl.nu/h12n

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time

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(403): I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time http://tfl.nu/5di6

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(404): View more from Georgia

He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.

(404): View more from Georgia

In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.

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(404): He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer. (404): In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ays

Replies (16) Good night (347) Bad night (742)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward

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(414): btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward http://tfl.nu/opuz

Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (181)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.

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(705): Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap. http://tfl.nu/psf5

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