sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dating After Heartbreak
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her