im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.