why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.