I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
