My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
