I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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