bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize