someone get that fucking seahorse.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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