I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize