It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
