If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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