Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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