Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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