you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
