WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
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Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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