it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
