"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
