i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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