Do you still have your period?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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