is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
