i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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