you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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