Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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