Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
ok first of all what the fuck
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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