I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
