I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
