Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
