I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
