You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
