this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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