I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
