You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
