I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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