okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize