my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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