A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
