it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize